Dating Relena and Other Minor Disasters
by Sakusha
Summary: Meet Davin. Davin has a big problem. Six of them actually. Davin would love to court Relena. But Heero, Duo, Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, and one overprotective brother would like nothing more than to elimiante him from the running.Maybe permenantly.
1. Meeting Ms Relena

Warnings: OC+R , 1+2,3+4, 5+6. Yes, het AND implied yaoi. Sillyness, a smattering of voilence, and one hell of a ride for a prospective groom.

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Dating Relena...and Other Minor Disasters

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I never thought it would be easy to court Relena Dorleen-Peacecraft. I understood that. Really, I did. I would be expected to make certain provisions. There would be expectations and a certain decorum to uphold. I thought there might even be a bit of danger involved. But I never, ever, imagined that it would just about kill me. Was I afraid of the paparazzi? No. Fringe rebels unhappy with the USEN? Not even close. There were, after all, certain risks I would have to undertake if I wanted to be with someone of Relana's caliber.

Do you know what makes me break out in a cold nervous sweat? Have you the slightest clue why I can't use a public restroom without checking the stalls first? No? I'll tell you. What terrifies me, what makes me lose sleep at night, are the six, yes S.I.X., ex-gundam pilots now Preventers, who worked diligently to put me in my grave during our early courtship.

I have never been a man prone to paranoia. I am now. They made me that way. If I have learned anything, it's that you'd better be on your best behavior anywhere, anytime; because they are watching. They are very protective. And they are very very well armed. But I didn't give up or give in. I didn't piss my pants or run for the hills. I dug my heals in. I fell in love. I survived trail by fire and artillery, and earned my place beside Relena.  
I'll start at the beginning. My name is Daven Connell. I was born and raised right here on Earth. I'm a fairly boring individual. My life, up until I meet Relana, was also pretty mundane. I have never served in the military and I have never used a gun. I'm not an adventurist and I don't do politics. I'm the guy who uses the cross walk even when it's out of the way. I cross my 'T's and dot my 'I's. I don't have any parking tickets, I don't drink and I don't smoke. Like I said, all very boring.

During the wars, I went to med school. I was shaping up to be a pretty good surgeon but that all changed in my third year. I found health care to be lacking. The people who needed the help were not getting it. Administrative decisions stripped medical care away from those who needed it the most. I couldn't see becoming a doctor only to be told who and whom not I could treat. And so I found a new calling. A non-profit organization that specializes in no/low cost medical care. Not my parents' favorite decision, but they respected it. Since the end of the last war, we've managed to put at least one new hospital on each of the colonies. My earnings don't even come close to what they would have been had I become a surgeon, but I never regretted it. Besides, that's how I meet my future wife, Relena.

It was a charity dinner. Once every few months I dust off my tux and my tin cup and try to get the funding we need to keep our organization going. We usually do pretty well, but we were a long way from where I wanted to be. This one was going to be a bit different from most of the other events we'd done in the past. It was a lot bigger, for one. We had two senators on our guest list for the night. That was big news for us.  
So the dinner started off without a hitch. We had a few speakers from the colonies and the supervisor from our community outreach program made his speech. I made a plea for more funding and gave our goals for the next year, which included a new burn unit for our hospital on L3. Something I really wanted to get underway as soon as possible.

After the introductions, the dinner and the speeches came the hob nobbing. This was the part I hated the most. Mingling with rich people to try and part them from their money. I shared brandy over polite conversation, danced with their wives and then I went in for the kill. 'Can we count on you for a donation this year?'. What can I say; begging, but with style.

I saw her from across the room, just like in one of those sappy romance novels. She was simply the most beautiful being there and I was immediately entranced. It took me a moment to realize I was staring, and another to realize she was staring right back. And then she smiled. I think that's what did it for me. That smile. The ballroom lit up in a way that had absolutely nothing to do with the chandeliers.  
She turned and whispered something to her escort. I assumed he was her escort, anyway. The man was tall and blonde, wearing some sort of military garb and seemed to have something of a death grip on her arm. He looked very unhappy with her request, and then he looked very unhappy with me. I'd have shivered if it weren't for the genuine happiness Relena had on her face when her escort seemed to give into her request. She wanted to meet me and she wasn't about to be deterred.

We were formally introduced and if I felt a connection from across the room, it was even more with her just inches away. She just took my breath away with her grace and geniality. We could only speak a few minutes, she being such a high profile figure, she was whisked away to meet with other diplomats that had been in attendance. Through the night we caught each other eye again and again. I was deeply fascinated and it seemed she was too. Her escort also caught my eye a time or two, but for an altogether different reason. The man looked like he was plotting my demise.  
Mr. Killjoy, it turned out, happened to be Relenas' brother, Millardo Peacecraft. I don't know why it took someone pointing it out to me for me to realize. I couldn't help but notice the man was armed. And protective. And imposing. Did I mention he was armed? He took the time to run has hand over the holster under his coat five separate times while eying me like I'd become public enemy number one.

By the end of the night I had told myself that Ms Peacecraft was off limits. I didn't take it too personally, though. Her brother had managed to make every man who set eyes upon his sister feel as though they should be writing his last will and testament. We'd done well with the fundraising and I should have been happy with that. I felt a pang in my chest as reality set in that Id never really get to know that lovely young lady behind that smile. Imagine my surprise when Ms Peacecraft approached me. She dimpled as she handed me a card. "Please call me Mr. Connell; I'd love to hear more on what you do." And with that, she was whisked away…but not before I got a piercing death glare from the gun toting brother.

We talked. Oh how she could talk. I never tired of her voice. We spent hours on the vid-phone, almost everyday of the week. She was charming and witty and as smart as she was beautiful. Unfortunately, she traveled almost as much as I, but we finally made plans for dinner over the next month.  
Our first date. I say that with a fond smile….and a shutter. The smile, is for our first candle light dinner. The shutter? That would be for what might have been our first kiss. And how could a first kiss cause such a reaction, you might ask? Simple. You see, that was the night I met the devil.

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Sakusha


	2. The Devil Does the Driving

Thank you so much for your patience and encouragment. It means so very much.

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The Devil Does the Driving

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There are many names for the Devil. Some call him Lucifer. Others Beelzebub, Price of Darkness…take your pick. I know him as Duo Maxwell. And a little secret about the devil...he doesn't work alone.

I was to pick Relena up at her home in the early evening. I understood that there would be a driver and a chaperone. I didn't mind so much. I kind of expected it. Of course, I had imagined some dowdily older woman as a chaperone. I don't know why really, that's what my mind conjured at the time. I occurred to me later that the chaperone was actually a body guard. And then I wondered why there was only one. I had never thought of myself as a naive man, but apparently, I am.

I didn't meet the driver right off, though I could see the back of her though the window. I did however meet Heero Yuy. Heero. Did you hear me? HEERO. YUY. Wow. I was in awe. He…well he's a _hero_. I never meet a hero before. It was kinda cool. I guess he knew he was cool though, because he didn't talk, he just kinda looked at me like I was a bug he was going to squish…and that just made me feel really really small. But then, this guy had a job to do. Relena's safety was the top issue here.

Relena stopped Heero from sitting in the back though, for which I was both relieved and a little regretful. 'Up front, Heero.'

'Relena…" Heero looked at me again.

'I mean it Heero, you ride up front. I think a date deserves a little privacy.' Relena said.

'It's ok….' I started to say, but then I realized no one was listening to me. They were doing this crazy show down with there eyes.

And then Relena cheated '_Please_.'

I will forever remember that moment because I knew this word spoken from those lips would be my undoing. I guess they were Heero's too. He nodded once, gave me another once over and got up front with the driver.

I took her to a little Italian spot that had great ambiance. And had been vetted. Actually, our whole itinerary has been gone over in advance, for security, I was told. I didn't realize they were going to clear the whole place out, just for us. It was a little disconcerting to know that we the only ones there. Well, except for Yuy…but I think he had a thing going with the driver because he kept himself scarce. What a time we had, a romantic dinner, Relena as perfect company, to look at those baby blues…it was wonderful.

The night was magical, right up to that very last moment as we were saying good bye. I had felt that, knowing Relena as I had for the last weeks, the starry warm night, and the way she looked at me as I held her hand, that a goodnight kiss was in the cards. We stood at the edge of the drive, Heero had again made himself scarce, and I couldn't even begin to tell you what happened to the driver.

The moment seemed perfect. Standing in the moonlight, I stepped forward and put my hands gently in her hair. She came closer, I leaned down…and then the world suddenly turned upside down. I hit the ground so hard air left my lungs in one big whoosh. My eyes teard up and my head tried to make sense of what was happening. I couldn't breath and I realized something was on top of me. It had gleaming violet eyes and a manic smile. And a gun. A big shiny black gun almost shoved up my nose. Apparently I had committed some unforgivable sin and the devil had come to collect his debt. I was dead. And I didn't even get to kiss the girl.

And just as quickly a purse was swung, hitting the devil in the head.

'_Duo_!'

Oh God. Relena hit the devil! Relena hit the devil and now we were _both_ going to die.

'Jesus, Lena!' The devil said, standing up…which was a relief, because I was out of air at that point. " Whatcha got in that purse…rocks?'

'As a matter of fact…yes. I've learned a little since last year. And I if you don't leave Davin alone it going to hit you again.' I think she would have too.

'But he had his hands…'

'Dammit Duo, he had his hands right where you could see them! You're just over reacting…again. Can't I even get a_ kiss_? One kiss without you scaring my suitor to death? It not like he was going to maul me on the front steps of my home for goodness sake!'

'Oh common Princess, how was I to know that last guy had a heart condition? He didn't die or anything….and he dropped the lawsuit…eventually. I don't know what this guys intentions are….'

'He was going to kiss me. _Kiss me_. And dammit, Duo, I _want_ a kiss. I deserve a kiss. One that does not involve paramedics.' I had not seen Relena mad yet. This was a new side. She could hold her own with the devil though.

'Well, if thats all ya wanted, why didn't ya say so Princess. I could always…'

'_Go!_' Relena pointed to the house.

'I wasn't gonna hurt him.' Duo whined.

'We'll talk about this _later_, Duo.'

The devils name was Duo. Now that I had a good look, I realized that our driver had not been a woman at all, but Duo Maxwell, gundam pilot 02. It was then I realized that we had not one, but two gundam pilots with us the whole night. I guess her security detail doesn't mess around. Like I said, naive and all.

The devil sighed, but then he gave me a look I will never forget. It was little more than a toothy grin, but he didn't need anything more to tell me what he was thinking. He was going to kill me slowly, and feed my dismembered body to sharks, should I think of touching Relena again.

….and like that, he was gone.

Relena stepped forward this time. Which was good, because technically, she touched me first. I had the slightest thought that I should get a copy of the security feed, should the devil come to call me on it. And then, my addled mind registered what she had said. She wanted a kiss. I love a woman who knows what she wants. I won't share the details, but we did kiss this time, and it was wonderful. Enough so that I forgot to ask about 'the last guy', and paramedics being involved. I should have also been concerned with overprotective, well armed, big brothers as well…but we'll talk about that later.

As I watched her go into the house, I could have floated. Until…_he_ walked out of the shadows. I thought for a moment that the devil was back, but the hair was different, and there was no toothy grin. Heero Yuy might as well be a demon though. He seemed to appear out of nowhere. He was silent as he walked, almost past me, but then he stopped. In a quiet voice, so slight that I almost didn't catch…and wish that I had not…

'If you hurt her…they will never. _Ever_. Find. The body.'

…again, gone. Just like that. Just like he didn't just threaten to end my life, in some probably horrible and messy way. Hero? He's a hero? A hero saves people. From the sound of it, I was the one that was going to need saving. Either the devil, or the demon were going to end me, and soon. At least I got a first kiss before I died.

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Sakusha


End file.
